Long time but funnies galore to share

To say the least, busy is my name! Probably not a good enough reason for not posting since the end of July, but sit back with your favorite beverage, I have so good comedy to share. 1. Loving the shoes - shoes are a hot fashion around the world. Everyone loves to have just the right kicks on their feet. What is the best however is when the latest fashion makes you stop in your tracks. In this case, it is the men of Congo who are working their foot action. The latest arrival in foot fashion - plastic loafers of every neon primary color in the rainbow. Alain's nephew was the first to sport such a shoe to catch my attention. Alain and I volunteered to lead a hash run/walk. This involved setting the course in the morning. Jonathan assisted with this process sporting his purple shoes along with his workout shorts and shirt. Hmmm...either it was the clothing combination or just the purple shoes searching for a yellow brick road, but either way...I could not look at him without having a self chuckle. What threw me back was then seeing all of the men running around in these shoes of yellow, orange, blue, green, and/or purple. But then it gets better. For those who remember the days of the jelly shoes for little girls. Yes, believe it, they are now a hot fashion for the men of Congo! Ack! 2. Cherish those who have passed from this world - in August, Congo has a day of respect to those who have died. This involves everyone in the family heading to the cemetery to pay respects to their family members. Please, my words are not meant as disrespect to such a good intent nor to those who have passed. But here, you just have to find the comedy in such an event. I did not go with Alain to visit the grave of his father on this holiday. While he and his family were there, they realized that their father’s grave was destroyed. So that meant a full family outing to watch the masons repair the site. Okay. The day goes like this -- we arrive at the cemetery where we pass our minimum 1 hour wait time for everyone else to finally show up. We walk into the cemetery to the grave site which required us to walk over the graves of other people. Think of any cemetery you know in the US where the graves are in a relative grid like mapping. Now imagine trying to find your family members grave site when people are buried with parts of someone else's grave on your site. We arrive at the site and everyone gathers around. Then the masons start to pull away the broken pieces when a cockroach exits and I have the sickening feeling that I am going to see more than expected. Okay, so we did not see the coffin but I did stand in the back just in case. A few prayers and then the next thing the beer arrives. So there we are for 3 hours around the grave site waiting for the masons to do their work while everyone gets loaded. Not really where I thought the party would be but I guess we can say the party will go anywhere. By the way, depending on which cemetery you patron, you can enjoy either the refuse from the prostitutes who are earners on that grave, the toilet for the passersby, or the homeless children who bunk up next to your loved one at night. After this, my life became consumed with funerals. Here, the world stops for a funeral. It starts with having the whole family go to the morgue and a multi-car convoy to escort the body to the viewing location. This includes of course, the every important video camera car to document the movement of the body. Then we have the placement of the coffin for viewing in an outdoor venue, around which all of the women are expected to sit around the body and cry. There are some who are really crying but what it boils down to is that all of the women sit there and do an actress version of cry-moaning. I refuse to sit with the women! This goes on for three days and you are expected to go to each day and view the body etc. I want to be CREMATED people with a beverage party to celebrate so this ordeal is a bit of overload for me. And let me remind you that my next door neighbor’s brother’s wife’s brother’s son is my son equivalent so you do this for about every death that occurs. Good lord, you can’t get anything done when you have this long process to observe every week! 3. Work life changes – In August, Thomas skipped town so I was finally left in charge. This has caused a spike in workload but we are finally getting into a more even workflow now that yearend is over (September 30). I thought the team would not rebound from having him depart but they have finally gotten used to the idea, and yes I promise not to make any of them cry! 4. Francaphonie – For those who do not know, the French-speaking countries have a grand conference call the Francaphonie. And wouldn’t you know that this year it was scheduled for right here in good old Kinshasa. The city pretty much shutdown for the first two weeks in October but you get to pick from the hat the reason why. a. The government opted to have the Presidential Guard to pose as police so this caused a huge scare among the people. After all, you cannot have any protests or opposition to the incumbent while all other heads of state are in town. b. Is today a declared holiday? Yes it is. No it isn’t. Yes, yes it is. After all it is better to declare a holiday which is sure to guarantee less cars on the road then to have utter vehicle mayhem when you are trying to get heads of state across town. c. No transport today, because ¾ of the taxis were “to beat up” and were blocked from entering Gombe. This added with the folly of having men in the streets sweeping the dirt to the side but better yet when you see the ones who are sweeping the hole in the ground. We did have some lovely repairs to the more destructive potholes. And wow – they added garbage cans to the sidewalks. Funny – people still jet their trash to the ground. 5. Hair cut anyone? Well, after not getting my hair cut since June, I was really starting to look like a scraggly character. I decided I could not attend the Marine Corp Ball like that so I took the chance of a hair cut again here. Well, this involved Alain pointing to pictures and explaining in Lingala what I wanted. Then post mani/pedi, they stick my head in the tub and then snippers came out. Snip, snip, snip including a snip of my neck and my hair is now Halle Berry short! It actually came out okay all things considered. But, as I was getting ready to leave the owner arrived, and the staffed merrily then informed me not to tell him that they cut my hair because they are not allowed to cut white folks hair. This is a catch 22 for me. She actually did a decent job so I must dislike the prejudice of the owner. But then as a business person you can’t have dishonest employees. In the end, I have not yet decided if I can go back. 6. Happy Graduation Alain! Alain finally finished his studies to get his electrician degree. This of course should have taken place in early October but was reschedule 3 times because of Francaphonie. I was awoken at 7am to get ready so that we could get to the graduation venue. This includes of course having to wear the dress made from the same material as the rest of the family (everyone wears the same outfit of sorts). We trek on out to Limite and as we begin our arrival to find parking everyone is running or swiftly walking toward us. Why? Not because we were late! This would be because the police were beating on someone who was claimed to have been causing trouble. So we turn around and for the next two hours we sit in the car on another road waiting solely for his family to arrive so that we can then move to phase two of graduation day. In short, he did not get to hear his name called because we never made it to the graduation. We left our side of the road location and head to a bar because at this point I am not happy about being in the 100 degree car waiting for people who cannot show up even remotely close to the specified time. Once everyone arrives we begin the road warrior phase two which involves everyone hanging out of the car, blowing whistles, honking and touring through town to show the world that you graduated. Alain was like a little kid standing out of the sunroof of the car with his nieces and brother dangling out the other windows blowing whistles and the bus/taxi that had everyone else in the family following suit behind us. Next - a bar for a brief reprieve. Then we head to the house to throw the graduation party. This included much stress as I do live on a very American compound. All guests were told not to whistle, yell, or otherwise cause mayhem. It worked out okay and most were quite well behaved. Glad not to be throwing another party like that for a few more months! 7. Wedding plans. I took a day of vacation today so that I can finally get my act together on planning. At a minimum…July 6 Congo wedding, July 20 San Diego wedding all are welcome. Save the dates are on their way (maybe by 12/31/2012 I will get them mailed!)